How Habits Shape Your Soul!

We Make our Habits, then Our Habits Make Us.

One of Judaism’s most powerful teachings is also one of its simplest: what we do shapes who we become. Good actions slowly transform us, even when our motives are less than perfect at the start.

The Talmud teaches that mitoch shelo lishmah, ba lishmah – when we begin a good deed for the “wrong” reason, we eventually come to do it for the right one. Do the deed, and the heart follows. Our actions become our habits, then our habits become our character.

Not everyone agrees. We often hear that character is fixed, that “a leopard can’t change it’s spots”. But we see things differently. Maimonides teaches that giving one gold coin on a thousand occasions builds generosity far more deeply than giving a thousand coins in one heroic donation. What we repeat, we become.

Neuroscience would agree millennia later. Dr Donald Hebb, father of neuropsychology, taught that repeated actions actually alter the brain. In his words: neurons that fire together, wire together. Basically, practise goodness until it becomes you.

The same is true for unsavoury behaviour. Actor Ralph Fiennes once reflected that playing the role of a cruel character made him begin to feel cruel. That same truth applies not only to actors, but to societies. Repeated actions, for better or worse, leave their mark.

I was reminded of this yesterday, whilst at the Sydney Opera House for the book launch of “A Different Nation” by The Australian. It was impossible to be there without recalling those disturbing scenes on October 9, 2023. The antisemitic chants and vulgar display, all while the kibbutzim were still burning, and long before Israel had even begun to respond. Yesterday, in that very location, our nation’s leaders and journalists spoke with honesty and conviction about how Australia has changed since that moment and the rising challenges facing our community.

A special acknowledgment belongs to the Murdoch family and to News Corp for courageously spearheading this vital conversation. They did not wait for the tide to turn. They chose to lead when others stayed silent. They acted first – publicly, consistently, and with moral clarity. They made a bold choice, and that choice helped shape a national conversation that desperately needed direction.

This week’s Torah portion gives this idea a vivid image. Jacob dreams of a ladder with angels ascending before they descend. The order is surprising. Angels belong in heaven, so why climb up first? Because spiritual growth begins on the ground. First we act, and only then do we rise. Holiness is not a feeling we wait for – it’s a choice we make.

This is the Jewish formula for transformation: Do the deed. Do it again. Let the heart catch up.

Pray – even when you don’t feel spiritual – and connection awakens.

Give – even when it feels forced – and compassion grows.

Honour your parents – even when it takes effort – and love deepens.

Change rarely arrives in a flash of inspiration. More often, it grows quietly through repeated choices. Small acts of generosity, moments of restraint, gestures of kindness that no one applauds, will slowly shape our souls.

And when we choose goodness again and again, we not only elevate ourselves, we lift our families, our community and the world. Together, let’s adopt some good habits and climb a few more rungs up the ladder to holiness.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Levi and Chanie