Helper’s High

Those of you who run often talk about a “runner’s high.” I can’t say I’ve experienced it, but I believe you. Because there is another kind of high that many of us have felt: the powerful lift that comes from helping someone else.

Science has a name for it: the helper’s high.

Research by Michael Norton at Harvard Business School asked 600 participants to track their spending habits. The results were clear: spending money on yourself barely moves the needle on happiness. But spending on others? That creates a measurable, lasting increase in joy. And it isn’t just psychological – it’s biological.
Studies at the National Institute of Health show that when people give, the brain’s pleasure centres light up. Regions tied to trust, social connection, and reward activate, creating a “warm glow” effect. Endorphins are released, stress decreases, resulting in a helper’s high.

In simple terms: giving literally makes us happier and healthier.

Perhaps the most fascinating discovery is that generosity spreads. Researchers found that a single act of kindness can ripple outward through three degrees of people – from person to person to person. Each time you give, you influence dozens, even hundreds to also act with kindness. Giving, turns out, is contagious.

Yet centuries before neuroscience, before happiness studies, Judaism already understood this. In this week’s Parshat Terumah, as the Mishkan is being built, Hashem tells Moshe “Speak to the children of Israel and let them take for Me an offering.” Not “give.” But “take.”
It is an extraordinary choice of words. When you give, you think you are losing something. The Torah teaches the opposite. When you give with a full heart, you are the one who takes. You take blessing. You take joy. You take spiritual elevation. You take connection.

The Mishkan was built through generosity, but the donors were the true beneficiaries. They thought they were contributing gold and silver. In truth, they were acquiring something far greater.

Giving is not depletion. It is expansion. Our hearts stretch. Our perspective shifts. We move from scarcity to abundance, from isolation to connection, from anxiety to meaning.

This is the secret behind the helper’s high. When we give with our whole heart, something extraordinary happens. We don’t empty ourselves – we are filled.

This feels especially powerful as we approach Purim (Monday night, March 2nd). Purim is the holiday of joyful generosity – matanot la’evyonim, gifts to those in need; mishloach manot, sharing with friends. It is a day when giving is not quiet or reluctant, but exuberant and overflowing.

On Purim, we don’t just celebrate survival, we celebrate connection. Every act of genuine generosity creates a channel between the human heart and the Divine. And what flows back into our lives is the greatest blessing of all.

Speaking of giving, tomorrow night in Shule we are honoured to welcome the World Chairman of Karen Hayasod UIA Sam Grundwerg, followed by CEO of ZDVO Yossi Matetyahu and global lecturer Dr Elliot Malamet on Shabbos Day. We are very grateful for the opportunity to hear from these inspiring voices.

On Tuesday evening we are launching a five-week course, Journey of the Soul, exploring the enduring relationship we have with loved ones who have passed. As part of this theme, we are privileged to host Itzik and Talik Gvili on Wednesday at 7:00pm, whose heartfelt reflections on their journey following the return of their son, Ran Gvili are an inspiration to us all.

See you in Shule. Shabbat shalom!

Rabbi Levi and Chanie