A Love Story with a Twist

Today is an incredibly special day for our family, the wedding of our dear son Mendel to Leah Malka Adelist, in Melbourne.

We are deeply touched and moved to be joined by over 200 members of our Central family who have travelled from Sydney to celebrate with us. What a privilege to share such a milestone surrounded by the community that has been our family through every joy, challenge, and chapter of life. Our children have grown up before your very eyes and it means so much to us to have you with us on their wedding day.

We wish Mendel and LM a lifetime filled with love, joy, and respect for one another, and a home built – as the Rebbe would bless every chassan and kallah – “on the foundations of Torah and mitzvot.”

It’s beautifully fitting that these very weeks in the Torah introduce us to the marriages of our patriarchs and matriarchs -from Avraham and Sarah through to Yaakov, Leah, and Rachel. Each of their stories reveal something timeless about love, faith, and what it means to build a Jewish home.

The Torah relates that Lavan had two daughters, Leah and Rachel. “Rachel was beautiful of form and beautiful of appearance; and Leah’s eyes were tender.” The Talmud explains that Leah’s eyes were soft and weakened from years of tears, crying over her assumed destiny to marry Esau, Yaakov’s wayward twin brother.

Yaakov, however, fell in love with Rachel and offered to work seven years for her hand in marriage. Yet, on the wedding night, Lavan deceived him, substituting Leah in Rachel’s place. Only in the morning did Yaakov discover the truth — “Vayehibaboker vehineh hi Leah” — “and it was morning, and behold, it was Leah.”

Yaakov accepted his fate, remaining married to Leah, and later also marrying Rachel, the bride of his choice. Yet in the end, it was Leah who became his primary wife – she bore most of his children, and it was Leah, not Rachel, who was ultimately buried beside Yaakov.

Why did the marriage that gave birth to the Jewish people – the very foundation of our nation -unfold in such an unexpected way? Not exactly a conventional fairytale wedding!

The Jewish mystical tradition teaches that Rachel and Leah represent two inner dimensions that exist within each of us – and within every relationship. Rachel embodies the outer beauty, charm, and romance that first draws two people together. Leah represents our inner world – our struggles, our insecurities, our depth, and our capacity to grow.

Few of us are purely “Rachel” or purely “Leah.” We are all a blend of both – the revealed and the hidden, the graceful and the vulnerable.

When we marry, we think we are marrying “Rachel,” the spouse of our dreams. But in time, we discover “Leah,” the parts of our spouse (and ourselves) that are unfiltered, real, and sometimes challenging. Yet, it is precisely that Leah dimension that nourishes our souls most deeply. What we may not have chosen is often what G-d knows we need most.

As the Rolling Stones famously sang: “You can’t always get what you want… but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.”

And that’s the secret of the Badeken – when the groom unveils his bride before the chuppah. It commemorates Yaakov’s marriage to Leah and Rachel, but it also carries a timeless message: “I will love and cherish not only the ‘you’ I see today, but also the ‘you’ that is still hidden, the parts that will only emerge with time. I commit not only to your Rachel, but also to your Leah -to the fullness of who you are and who we will become together.”

May Hashem bless Mendel and Leah Malka – and all couples – to build homes filled with love, kindness, faith, and joy. Homes that embrace both the Rachel and Leah within each other, and radiate light and blessing to all of Am Yisrael.

Shabbat Shalom and Mazel Tov!

With love,
Rabbi Levi & Chanie Wolff